Sex means different things to different people, and what it means to you might be having a big effect on your relationship Wanting sex to share love comes from a completely different place inside than sex to get something. In order to have love and connection to share, you have to already be connected with yourself and feel filled with love. Pleasure, fun , feeling loved, cherished and sexy ( there is nothing sexier than feeling sexy IMO) and sharing something unique and exclusive with the man I love. Being able to discover each other and ourselves , being able to laugh at each other ( sex can be so silly if you can't laugh then I think you are missing out).
Sex to me is the natural progression of love,respect and desire. I love sex because it brings me closer to someone I grow with every day.
Sex is also about being someone who can pick up on the other's desires and considering your lover's pleasure as well as your own. Selfish sex to me is pointless. It is as much about giving as about receiving.
I also think it is about being willing to make yourself vulnerable to the other , something which means a lot and shows one is comfortable with their partner.
I cannot personally imagine having sex with someone I did not love. For me that would be empty and would make me feel cheap and demeaned as a human being.
I adore my husband ( even when I "hate" him... and want to throw things at him) and being sexually exclusive is not just a "moral" choice to me, in fact it is not a choice. I can admire other men's beauty but have no desire to sleep with any of them. Because sex to me is about something deeper than simple copulation and penetration.
Sex is hugely important in a relationship but to me if you haven't got love, fun, laughter, and even tears and sorrow, if you don't share yourself as well as your body then you have nothing. I know... very old fashioned... It is about more than uniting your body but also your "souls" to put it tritely.
Me like sex very much, fun and games and all that....
I never understand people who find sex dirty ! It's supposed to be dirty ! And beautiful and fun and pleasurable....t share something that you don’t already have.
You cannot share love and connection when you feel unhappy, empty, inadequate, unlovable, disconnected from yourself, stressed or agitated, angry or needing to feel in control of your partner.
If you and your partner are having sexual problems, you each may want to examine the system between you. Is there a control-resist system? Is there a control-compliance system? Is there a compliance-compliance system? Any of these systems may be bypassing the true sharing of love and joy that sexuality between loving, caring partners offers.
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