There aren't many things more important than friendship. A friend is someone you can talk with about a problem, someone who is always there when you need a hand, someone you can trust with your deepest secrets, someone who makes you laugh, or even someone you can poke on Facebook. And a friend can be anyone or anything: a parent, a sibling, a classmate, a pet, a stuffed animal, or even invisible. I could go on but.... its night time here.
If you have a good friend dont ever let go.......
Love and Peace. xxx
Sunday 21 September 2014
WHY DO YOU WANT LOVE ANYWAY?
Some women look at being single as something to fix. After age 25 and your friends all start to marry, the process of filling that perceived hole in your life begins. Family, friends and co-workers ask if you are dating someone and it feels like something is wrong if you are not in a relationship. You get drawn into the need to find a man that you find it silly to answer the question, “Why do you want love?”
Humans are social creatures and it is natural for you to want to connect and bond with others. Being single can be lonely at times, especially when you get older and your single friends are dropping off the face of the earth into the picket fence lifestyle. You may spend holiday weekends or Saturday evenings alone which can be very isolating and depressing. When you are single, it feels like a couples’ world that you have not received an invitation to yet.
You may judge yourself harshly for not having a partner and search self-help books and workshops to fix yourself enough so someone would love you. This behavior is akin to walking on a treadmill, analyzing your past, your limitations and fears only to perpetuate what you focus on. If you only found your true love, then you would be okay….healed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a life partner, but you must be clear on why you want a partner so that you can have a healthy relationship that lasts. If you are just filling in a void, you will probably settle for someone that serves that purpose. If you are looking to feel better about yourself, you will attract someone that consistently lets you down. No one can fill you up with confidence; you have to do that job by yourself.
Take a piece a paper out in your journal and write across to the top, “Why do I want love?” and then free-write everything that comes to your mind. You may be surprised at what comes out of you. Do you want to share a wonderful life with someone or do you want him or her to give you something that you perceive you lack?
Some examples of the hidden desires for relationships are to feel accepted, loved, worthy, or healed. Many singles just don’t want to be alone; they can’t stand themselves and need another person to distract them. Some singles desire love because they are desperate for attention. They want to show off their pretty engagement ring, plan the wedding, and feel like they are part of the couples club. Once the hoopla ends, they are left with a husband that they probably do not love.
In order to find true love, you must get to the root of your desire and what the relationship will serve for you. Unhealthy relationships are created by one or both parties getting involved for selfish reasons to feed their ego and unmet needs. True love is not about having the other person make your life better, but by you being perfectly happy now and wanting to share that happiness. You don’t want to attract someone to “complete” you but to harmonize with you. HAVE A BLESSED WEEK! Xxx
Humans are social creatures and it is natural for you to want to connect and bond with others. Being single can be lonely at times, especially when you get older and your single friends are dropping off the face of the earth into the picket fence lifestyle. You may spend holiday weekends or Saturday evenings alone which can be very isolating and depressing. When you are single, it feels like a couples’ world that you have not received an invitation to yet.
You may judge yourself harshly for not having a partner and search self-help books and workshops to fix yourself enough so someone would love you. This behavior is akin to walking on a treadmill, analyzing your past, your limitations and fears only to perpetuate what you focus on. If you only found your true love, then you would be okay….healed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a life partner, but you must be clear on why you want a partner so that you can have a healthy relationship that lasts. If you are just filling in a void, you will probably settle for someone that serves that purpose. If you are looking to feel better about yourself, you will attract someone that consistently lets you down. No one can fill you up with confidence; you have to do that job by yourself.
Take a piece a paper out in your journal and write across to the top, “Why do I want love?” and then free-write everything that comes to your mind. You may be surprised at what comes out of you. Do you want to share a wonderful life with someone or do you want him or her to give you something that you perceive you lack?
Some examples of the hidden desires for relationships are to feel accepted, loved, worthy, or healed. Many singles just don’t want to be alone; they can’t stand themselves and need another person to distract them. Some singles desire love because they are desperate for attention. They want to show off their pretty engagement ring, plan the wedding, and feel like they are part of the couples club. Once the hoopla ends, they are left with a husband that they probably do not love.
In order to find true love, you must get to the root of your desire and what the relationship will serve for you. Unhealthy relationships are created by one or both parties getting involved for selfish reasons to feed their ego and unmet needs. True love is not about having the other person make your life better, but by you being perfectly happy now and wanting to share that happiness. You don’t want to attract someone to “complete” you but to harmonize with you. HAVE A BLESSED WEEK! Xxx
WHAT DOES SEX MEAN TO YOU? A WRITER'S OPINION
Sex means different things to different people, and what it means to you might be having a big effect on your relationship Wanting sex to share love comes from a completely different place inside than sex to get something. In order to have love and connection to share, you have to already be connected with yourself and feel filled with love. Pleasure, fun , feeling loved, cherished and sexy ( there is nothing sexier than feeling sexy IMO) and sharing something unique and exclusive with the man I love. Being able to discover each other and ourselves , being able to laugh at each other ( sex can be so silly if you can't laugh then I think you are missing out).
Sex to me is the natural progression of love,respect and desire. I love sex because it brings me closer to someone I grow with every day.
Sex is also about being someone who can pick up on the other's desires and considering your lover's pleasure as well as your own. Selfish sex to me is pointless. It is as much about giving as about receiving.
I also think it is about being willing to make yourself vulnerable to the other , something which means a lot and shows one is comfortable with their partner.
I cannot personally imagine having sex with someone I did not love. For me that would be empty and would make me feel cheap and demeaned as a human being.
I adore my husband ( even when I "hate" him... and want to throw things at him) and being sexually exclusive is not just a "moral" choice to me, in fact it is not a choice. I can admire other men's beauty but have no desire to sleep with any of them. Because sex to me is about something deeper than simple copulation and penetration.
Sex is hugely important in a relationship but to me if you haven't got love, fun, laughter, and even tears and sorrow, if you don't share yourself as well as your body then you have nothing. I know... very old fashioned... It is about more than uniting your body but also your "souls" to put it tritely.
Me like sex very much, fun and games and all that....
I never understand people who find sex dirty ! It's supposed to be dirty ! And beautiful and fun and pleasurable....t share something that you don’t already have.
You cannot share love and connection when you feel unhappy, empty, inadequate, unlovable, disconnected from yourself, stressed or agitated, angry or needing to feel in control of your partner.
If you and your partner are having sexual problems, you each may want to examine the system between you. Is there a control-resist system? Is there a control-compliance system? Is there a compliance-compliance system? Any of these systems may be bypassing the true sharing of love and joy that sexuality between loving, caring partners offers.
Sex to me is the natural progression of love,respect and desire. I love sex because it brings me closer to someone I grow with every day.
Sex is also about being someone who can pick up on the other's desires and considering your lover's pleasure as well as your own. Selfish sex to me is pointless. It is as much about giving as about receiving.
I also think it is about being willing to make yourself vulnerable to the other , something which means a lot and shows one is comfortable with their partner.
I cannot personally imagine having sex with someone I did not love. For me that would be empty and would make me feel cheap and demeaned as a human being.
I adore my husband ( even when I "hate" him... and want to throw things at him) and being sexually exclusive is not just a "moral" choice to me, in fact it is not a choice. I can admire other men's beauty but have no desire to sleep with any of them. Because sex to me is about something deeper than simple copulation and penetration.
Sex is hugely important in a relationship but to me if you haven't got love, fun, laughter, and even tears and sorrow, if you don't share yourself as well as your body then you have nothing. I know... very old fashioned... It is about more than uniting your body but also your "souls" to put it tritely.
Me like sex very much, fun and games and all that....
I never understand people who find sex dirty ! It's supposed to be dirty ! And beautiful and fun and pleasurable....t share something that you don’t already have.
You cannot share love and connection when you feel unhappy, empty, inadequate, unlovable, disconnected from yourself, stressed or agitated, angry or needing to feel in control of your partner.
If you and your partner are having sexual problems, you each may want to examine the system between you. Is there a control-resist system? Is there a control-compliance system? Is there a compliance-compliance system? Any of these systems may be bypassing the true sharing of love and joy that sexuality between loving, caring partners offers.
MY LAW SCHOOL EXPERIENCE
Its been a long while i posted anything on here. i have to be honest i missed that. i have been busy in law school. i was posted to the nigerian law school in Enugu State! funny but true it was a wonderful experience. i met so many people from diverse parts of the country,the good,the bad and the ugly. the registration process was exhausting. long ques and lazy admin staff trying to feel too relevant but i got fixed in no time. i got a room and lived with five other wonderful people but everyday was a new story. even though i miss the law school experience i am super glad its over. God was wonderful to me throughout that journey. shout out to my friends who became family! JADESOLA BALOGUN, INUMIDUN ERINKITOLA,MARTINS ASAOLU,UZOMA OKOLI,KIKE ADEWALURE,EBAIDE OMIUNU,ANDREW OWOEYE*blushing* many more. see you all in ICC ABUJA NOVEMBER 25 BY GOD'S GRACE. xxx
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