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Signs of Emotional Immaturity

We all have bad days and at times have our own individual temper tantrums.  Sometimes, we simply feel bored and need to look for something to do. But for some people, these traits can get in the way of having a good relationship. Consider the following signs of emotional immaturity:

Emotional Volatility: This generally refers to the tendency for your emotions to get out of your control. Review the list below and if you notice one of more of these traits in yourself or someone you care about, emotional volatility may be a problem:

• temper tantrums, like screaming, yelling, breaking things or hitting others
• getting upset extremely easily, having a low frustration level
• responses out of proportion, that is, making a mountain out of a mole hill
• inability to take criticism, rather taking it too personally or taking yourself too seriously
• extreme jealousy,
• unwillingness to forgive,
• unpredictable fluctuation of moods

Lack of Independence: People who have a balance of independence vs dependence are both relatively self-reliant and cooperative with other people. An unhealthy dependence has the following characteristics:

• too reliant on others for things you can do for yourself
• needing someone around all the time
• not having your own opinions, or being willing/able to express them
• being very easily influenced by others
• prejudging other people

Constant Attention and Gratification Seeking: Emotionally immature people spend a lot of time and energy looking for attention and gratification from other people. This is characterized by:

• superficial values
• loyalty that lasts only as long as the person views the relationship as "useful"
• needing immediate gratification which may result in financial or personal problems
• thoughtless and impulsive behavior

Extreme self-centeredness: Self-centered people are often viewed as selfish. Usually, this suggests having low self-esteem, self-centred people can be extremely competitive, make unreasonable demands, are constantly preoccupied with themselves, seek out positive feedback or sympathy relentlessly, and don't tend to accept responsibility for anything.

In summary, the emotionally immature person can't understand the needs and feelings of others, and therefore have a difficult time being a partner or a parent.