Have you ever felt as if your friend was verbally abusive to you? Verbal abuse (sometimes also referred to as emotional abuse) is generally seen in parental or romantic partner relationships, but it can also rear its ugly head in friendships, too.
Verbal Abuse Between Friends
At the heart of abuse is a desire to control the other person. Put downs and insults are meant to tear someone down emotionally, so the person will be less likely to seek out other friends or do activities without the abuser. Verbal abuse can also escalate to things like isolation, where someone tries to prevent you from meeting new people or seeing your current friends.
Verbal abuse is constant over time, and much different than regular friendship conflict. The key to defining verbal abuse in friendships is consistent negative vocal behavior.
In other words, it isn't when you and a friend have an argument (and may say hurtful things) or when a friend is moody (and may snap at you.) Friendships go through ups and downs, and sometimes people disagree and even behave poorly, so it's important to understand the difference between a "regular fight between friends" and verbal abuse.
Signs of Verbal Abuse
Verbal abuse is meant to tear you down emotionally by trying to belittle or even frighten you. If you think your friend might be verbally abusive, watch for these signs:
Telling you that you're stupid all the time
Saying that you won't be able to make new friends
Calling you names (fatty, dummy, moron)
Putting down the good things that happen to you
Blaming you when things go wrong
Making fun of your accomplishments
Telling other people negative things about you
Telling embarrassing things about you in front of other people
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